Lessons In Life

It is truly amazing how dots along the line of your life connect. Just last night, I was agonizing over my past. (See my earlier post) This morning, I get on the computer and start my morning blog run. Smacking me right in my face, again, is the truth of it all. (Courtesy of Holly Lisle)

I made a reality checklist a long, long time ago. I think I need to drag it out again.

Reality Checklist for Survivors:

1. You did nothing wrong.
2. Whatever happened, you did not cause it. You are not to blame.
3. You did not choose your biological family.
4. As much as you love them, you cannot change them.
5. Your support isn't necessarily your biological family. It is whoever stands by you when everything comes crashing down, even if it is you. Those who help build you back up when you are nothing more than a shell.
6. Above all else, love yourself. You cannot be a good mother, provider, friend or anything else if you cannot find a way to love you.
7. You cannot rewrite the past. There is no delete key, no do over, no rewind.
8. Your belief in yourself is more important than other's disbelief. You were there, not them. You experienced the horror, not them.
9. Don't make excuses for anyone. Not even yourself. Face things with full view, no rosy colors.
10. You cannot force anyone, including yourself, to be ready before they are. Trying to face something without the capability to look at it head on does more harm than good. Always.

This isn't my whole checklist, but the rest is not to be unshelved except in extreme emergency. I choose to live now, not yesterday. For me, some things are too horrible to remember if I can help it. Some days, I must have tunnel vision to survive. Monsters hide in the blurriness of peripheral vision.

Find someone that can just listen. That makes no judgement. The air, the wall, anyone or anything. Try it.