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Tuesday, March 7

My Dream

I dream of being valued by my employers.

I dream of never fearing when I might get fired because I am a muff-diving dyke.

I dream that, for once, things would get better and stay better.

I dream of having job security.

I dream of owning my own home.

I dream of growing old with my girlfriend.

I dream of going more than a week without hearing "CNAs are a dime a dozen."

I dream of not living paycheck to paycheck.

I dream of a stable life.

I dream of being able to take a family vacation every year. Hell, I'd settle for every other year.

I dream of world peace coming before my boys have to go off to war.

The sad, frakking reality is that I am nothing but a grunt. Maybe, I should be ashamed to wipe asses for a living. Maybe, nurses, administrators, and everybody else is better than me. Maybe, I shouldn't dream at all. Dreams might just be what us poor, unedjumakatd folk use to keep from drowning in sorrow.

I was told today that I am worthless. I was told that my sexual preferences make me less than. I was told that my sex life was the basis for getting rid of my shower aide position. That I needed to learn that I am no better than anyone else. That as long as I am a dyke I will never be considered for a promotion because my administrator doesn't like my personal choices. One mistake and I am out of a job. And, there is nothing I could do.

Fuck the world.


at 4:01 PM, March 07, 2006, Blogger Carter said...

The ACLU would love to take that case. How would you like to own a nursing home?

Some things for you to keep in mind:

CNA's are indeed a dime a dozen, GOOD CNA's are rare and special. That's you.

Your value does NOT depend on what other people think, especially when those Other People are ignorant bigots with their heads stuck so far up their own asses they can't imagine anything different.

Nobody can take your dreams away from you. On the other hand, nobody can make them come true except you. Quit moping and get to work!!!

There are always options open, though it's damn hard to see them when you're so upset. Think about the things you really, really want, then figure out what you need to do to make them happen, then take it one step at a time and work your way to Dreamland.

You have friends and supporters all over the world who value you for who you are. Don't let a couple of assholes ruin your life.

at 5:31 PM, March 10, 2006, Anonymous tambo said...

I agree with Carter.

I've been in nowhere hell-hole jobs before and, sooner or later there comes a point where you just can't take any more. Then you leave. And it always seems something better pops right up.

It'll be okay. It will.


at 4:31 PM, March 11, 2006, Blogger Jean said...

Carter and Tambo have said it well. You KNOW you're not worthless -- whomever told you that was full of crap. They sound pretty insecure to me.

Dreams are essential. Don't ever give up, Heather.


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