Why Would You Use This?

• Musical Baby Diaper Alarm*-It plays "When the Saints Go Marching In."

Did the inventors, three women from France, ever hear of paying attention to children?

• Three-legged Pantyhose*-Just change legs if you get a run in your hose. The third leg rolls up into a pocket in the crotch.
  

It's bad enough we wear those torture devices. Only men should have a third leg.

• Vibrating Toilet Seat*-The inventor, Thomas Bayard, believed buttock stimulation helped constipation.

Isn't the washer enough stimulation, ladies?

• Pet Petter-A machine to pet your pet.

If you don't want to pet your pet, get a fish.

• Earthquake House-A house in a ball. If internal sensors determine an earthquake is coming they release utility lines, anchors, tethers, etc. so that your house can roll about. A nifty device keeps your living quarters upright.

The next new sport-Neighborhood bowling.

• Skin Stencil-First, wear your hat so that the stencil is above skin. Then, go in the sun. Whatever is cut out of your hat will be tanned onto your skin.

Do they say idiot?

Maybe you should really think about what you are trying to invent. Do people really want to have it or will it become the next joke?

*From Uncle John's Ahh-Inspiring Bathroom Reader by the Bathroom Readers' Institute